The moment we notice we have lost something the reactions can range from sorrow or even grief to panic or worry. The recognition of the void triggers a tightening, an impulse to regain what is missing. The greater the perceived value the more intense our reactions and drive to do something about the discomfort.
Without negating the importance of these feelings and tendencies, can we flip the switch on how we perceive a loss? When we lose an item and go to the lost & found office, we are hoping and trusting finders. So when we cannot retrieve our lost property or it is something or someone that may not return, which finder is there to trust?
When one door closes another opens
When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.
Alexander Graham Bell
We all know this or a similar quote. A loss can be a door closing, the creation of a vacuum, or the interruption of the energetic flow. In the case of a fire, we are grateful for a sturdy door to keep the inferno at bay or even shield us from its deadly heat. Of course, fire can offer warmth, an aid for cooking, and light. Yet just as that fire can turn from wholesome to dangerous, we might not realise when someone or something turns unhealthy.
So, when that protective door closes it might initially feel like a loss until we allow the distance to offer a different view and recognition of the dangers that were creeping in. And with distance the new open door is visible. Yet it is our job to let go of that doorknob and move on, trusting that in time we learn why we needed to redirect.
Filling the Void
Losing friendship, a loved one’s passing, or even health issues reducing mobility – it creates a feeling of something missing, a void. We grieve the heaviness we perceive that this emptiness creates. And “grieve” really hits the nail on the head as the etymology leads us back to the Latin “gravare” – to make heavy, weighty. If we look at science and nature we find that voids want to be filled. As halting and static as such an event seems, the painful void is what propels you forward to find new friendships, a mutation of the love for the passed, and healing of illness, or rebalancing or aiding of the body to regain what has been impaired.
So instead of freezing or avoiding that emptiness (notice how “avoid” opposes the void?) it can become a driving force, a chrysalis to propel you forward to find other options, betterment or even improvement if brave enough to go through it. The big hurdle is accepting or even going through that void so it can offer its gravitational force to create the new.
Letting Go to Create
Do we always have to wait for that door to close? that friendship to break? that item to malfunction? If we can learn to step back and observe the little shifts in our life and proactively or consciously go with the flow of our growth, we can forestall the hurt of clinging on to what no longer serves us. Yet even when we do face unavoidable losses, we have the backbone and energy to go through the eye of the storm as letting go is not fear-laden. The more we practice change in small circumstances the better we can meet the big events, so we can have a sense of co-creating rather than clinging on for dear life.
Images: Photo by Tobias Aeppli on Pexels.com |Sebastian Bieniek, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons
Inspired Thought 
