It is a core part of being alive. Not only humans socialise but all living beings. Animals play and congregate (some constantly, others at special times in life). Plants form symbiotic groups communicating through interlinked roots and chemical marks. You could say refusing to be social is refusing to live. Yes, we can survive to an extent on our own, but is that really the point of life?
Friendship at Heart
“Social” stems from the Latin root of “socius”: friend. Indeed, this forms the foundation of gathering. We go out with friends to chat and experience something together. It offers a chance to get to know new people and try out new things (e.g. culinary, adventure, places). It is an act of coming together dynamically. We connect and exchange anything from presence over knowledge to experiences for the senses.
Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.
Neale Donald Walsch
Yet this act does not just speak of friendship. At its core lies a trust in ourselves. We interact and explore, which means we enter mental and physical areas where we give up some control. We turn down opportunities that do not meet our interests or make us uncomfortable. Yet we welcome others where we trust the surroundings and our capabilities to handle any arising challenge. It becomes a dance on the edge of our comfort zone, which explains why socialising can be tricky to some but holds so many rewards.
Exploring the New
In dog training, the word “socialising” gets a different spin. Many behaviourists use the term not only to encourage dog-to-dog contacts, where the pooches play and hopefully learn good manners from each other. They also encourage “socialising” your companion with all kinds of surroundings, smells and situations. A well “socialised” dog knows to look to its handler whenever unsure of what to do and has had many chances to learn manners and stay calm.
By this token, human socialising gets quite a different flavour. We meet and explore not just for the energetic exchange and enrichment of being together and learning new things. Socialising becomes a dance of constantly refining our social skills. How do we react to adversity, an argument, an accident, unpleasant situations? Who do we look to when we are unsure? How do we react? What knee-jerk reactions are helpful or harmful?
Pushing your Comfort Zone
Socialising indicates a comfortable get-together. But why not use that comfort to explore? Why do you feel that twinge of a trigger when your friend says or does something? Which of your idiosyncracies create discomfort for you and the others? When we congregate, we create an atmosphere and expectancy of enjoying ourselves, and we all know how nourishing this is. In this environment, food and drink nourish us as much as social exchange. So use this nourishing soil to cultivate and refine your skills and challenge your habits.
Images: Photo by Kindel Media on Pexels.com |Photo by ELIOMAR REIS on Pexels.com
Inspired Thought 