Looking back at the Costa Concordia Experience

Well, it’s been all over the news: The Costa Concordia ran aground. Shocked gasps … finger pointing … statistics … long discussions about the rights and wrongs … It’s not the first time something like this has happened, neither will it be the last … yet it is the first time (and hopefully the last!) that I am affected by it: my parents were on that ship.

A week has past in a blur, going from a phone call in the middle of the night where both parents assured me they’re ok, whilst I didn’t even know something had happened … over picking two shell shocked loved ones up from an earlier flight to nursing them back to health. Should it have sinked it? Should I be able to grasp it more?

I don’t know. I can see my parents fighting fever and wounds, I can hear them talking about their experiences, I can feel the deep emotions as they wash over them and me. All I do know is that despite the severity of what my parents went through, never did I freak, hide or give up. Odd, I didn’t know I had these qualities slumbering in me.

Usually I know when something is up with a loved one. Some kind of gut instinct alerts me. Yet on Friday evening? Nothing. I had a nice quiet evening cuddling with the dog and then headed to bed, blissfully ignorant my parents were fighting for survival along side thousands of people. “Time doesn’t exist” so perhaps the universal knowledge that they will be/are alright didn’t set off any alarm bells? If that be the case, I have just received even more proof to rely on my gut instinct. Whilst my brain was trying to find reasons to freak once I heard and then saw the news, my gut “knew” everything was ok (or as ok as it can be). My mother reports a similar experience where when she thought she faced the end she did not get any notion of it being so, the so-called “film” of life passing by or what not. She just stood alone with herself until her escape suddenly evolved out of nowhere. If the above is true then this is yet another proof of universal knowledge overruling what we believe to be true.

Another thing that I have noted on. Although we are all shocked at what happened, never did a word of blame cross our lips or our minds. Yes, the captain seems to have made mistakes, but likewise if he hadn’t made the decision to turn the ship back to the shore – I might not have had any parent to hug at the airport. Even more so, who are we to blame anyone not knowing fully what happened on the bridge. And even once we do? Do we know what we would have done in his shoes (with ot without the skills and knowledge of a captain)? Do we even know how we would handle such a life and death situation ourselves? My parents talk about their own reactions and those of others in a way that only one who has seen and lived it can and even they do not move in to point fingers of blame. The only grumbling you hear under this roof is about the actions of the cruise company as a whole.

The “why me” or “why us” question barely sees the light of day here as well. If at all, the answer is already available: a lesson to learn, a development to make, a point of understanding to be gained. Once more it is a question of whether we want to dwell on the negative (blaming, possible death, grudges) or rather focus on what we can take into the future. This doesn’t mean we skip off into the sunset and all is well that ends wel – there are papers to filled in, interviews and money matters. Perhaps I even needed this experience to truly understand these subtle differences, to understand myself and of course to be pushed into developing and acting.

All the while I am well aware that we are amongst the lucky. My heart goes out to everyone touched by this tradgey, whether passenger, relative, crew, locals, hotels and embassies who helped and even the captain and company. May each individual find the strength to move on, do what is necessary and right, as well as be able to look back and learn as we have done. More over, may anyone following the news be able to look past big print of the headlines and use this to learn about themselves and humankind and what they as individuals can do to help others and improve life.

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